To Feel or Not To Feel?

I wasn’t ready
The bomb hit hard
My heart stopped
My breathe caught
Time seemed frozen
My life slipped through my fingers
I was numb
I craved life
My lungs ached for air
I wanted to feel
It was like drowning in knee deep water
Out in the ocean
Alone and afraid
A second attack
My heart raced
I still couldn’t breath
Time was idly mocked me
Pain consumed me
I craved enteral rest
My lungs burned
I wanted peace
Still drowning in an ocean
Only knees deep
Alone and afraid

Wake Me Up

Wake me up when it all ends
When the cuts have healed
Wake me up when I’m not bleeding
And the temptation to give into this addiction is nothing but a memory
Wake me up when it no longer hurts
When the thought of you doesn’t make me break
Wake me up when ropes aren’t my enemy
And my lungs aren’t struggling harder than me to breathe
Wake me up when my finger isn’t on the trigger
And instead holding yours
Wake me up when my prayers have been delivered
And I’m no longer holding onto a thin and breakable thread
Wake me up when this nightmare ends
When I can finally see more than dark skies
Wake me up when I can see again
Before and after this storm
Wake me up before I drown
For grief has consumed me whole and shaken me to the bones..

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